The Mary Sue Dystopia
by MA7
Summary: Life in a wish fulfilment universe from the point of view of any character OTHER than the Mary Sue.
1. Chapter 1

The Mary Sue Dystopia.

Life in a wish fulfilment universe from the point of view of any character OTHER than the Mary Sue.

Chapter 1

Deep down in some suitably cool pop culture hell type setting, a woman named "Unnamed Female Character Number 8" was naked for no apparent reason and was using a small pick on the wall of an improbably heavily gold encrusted tunnel (also for no apparent reason). Unnamed Female Character Number 8" or Unnamed for short, was difficult to describe due to apathy on the part of the author, but was deliberately young, thin, big breasted, long haired and sexy. ALL the women in this place were young, thin, big breasted, long haired and sexy.

The place that Unnamed lived was hard to describe as it changed almost constantly, changing both name, geography and the fandoms it ripped off. For ease of use, the various unnamed characters who lived here simply called it Dystopia, as this really was the term that best described this ridiculous place.

Dystopia was an ever changing power tripping masturbatory fantasy realm where "the Mary Sue" acted as the avatar for the pathetic (and possibly psychotic) teenage boy who was the author. The history of dystopia changed daily to meet the fantasies of the author and Unnamed had long ago given up trying to keep up with the ridiculous and poorly written plot.

Dystopia was ruled with absolute power and authority by "the Mary Sue", a character who was apparently perfect in every single way but whose backstory, name, physical attributes and even gender changed constantly depending upon the current shameless fantasising of the author. As the name changed constantly, the people of Dystopia simply referred to him as the Mary Sue for want of a better name.

In the beginning of Dystopia, a vaguely described entity known simply as "the Devil" had decided for reasons completely unknown that a teenage boy named Mary Sue/"insert author's name here" should be given a suitably cool demonic body and be given a suitably cool and important part of a pop culture inspired idea of hell, to basically rule as Mary Sue saw fit without really offering anything in return to said Devil.

The Mary Sue had then gone on to lead massive demon armies and personally battle against suitably cool enemies for no adequately explained reason, winning every single battle of course and earning over a billion trillion quadrillion infinity "hell dollars" in the process. Mary Sue had then decided that a mere billion trillion quadrillion infinity hell dollars was not enough and so had gotten first infinity infinity hell dollars and then infinity infinity infinity infinity infinity... (Continued for the next few pages)... infinity infinity INFINITY hell dollars. After this the author had gotten confused about exactly how many infinity hell dollars the Mary Sue had and simply moved on without addressing the issue.

The Mary Sue had a lot of powers, in fact the Mary Sue had EVERY power, even powers that the author only saw for the first time in a movie 5 minutes ago the Mary Sue apparently had had this and every other power right from the start.

The author had already given way way WAY more than enough airtime describing how cool and awesome and popular and perfect the Mary Sue was, so Unnamed Female Character Number 8 decided not to waste any more time describing this all powerful character.

Unnamed and an army of "ten infinity" other identical copies of herself were all in these inexplicably rich mines, totally naked for no reason, with perfect hair and makeup and clean skin despite the fact that mine workers would typically get dirty doing this extremely dirty job. The author clearly had no real idea about mining (or much else for that matter) and the naked young sexy women were simply occasionally hitting the walls very daintily with tiny little picks that appeared to weigh about as much as styrofoam, achieving very little but looking extremely sexy as they did it.

This extremely inefficient mining method was somehow extracting an inexplicably large amount of gold, and all of this vast fortune went to the personal treasuries of the Mary Sue (who apparently wasn't rich enough already). Depending upon the mood of the author, the "ten infinity" unnamed naked females earned either nothing at all or else had "the best wages and working conditions in the entire multiverse" because the Mary Sue was of course the most awesome boss anyone could ever have. At the moment the women were all slaves who earned not a single hell dollar and had the most sexist, degrading and downright ridiculous working conditions imaginable.

As far as the women could tell, their main purpose was to look as sexy as possible in the background of the Mary Sue and act as though they were actually doing some sort of job rather than just randomly hitting the wall from time to time. The job they did changed with the whim of the author, sometimes naked mining, sometimes naked blacksmiths, sometimes naked office workers or innumerable other jobs performed in the background. No matter what, they were eternally naked, made up and with perfect hair and nails, always clean skinned like the women in stereotypical porn.

Unnamed herself knew almost nothing about herself as a character in the story. She had no name, no address, no backstory, no set physical form (though was always hyper sexy), nothing at all about her was set in the story. Unnamed was officially some sort of demon creature but she didn't look like anything other than a photoshopped human woman. The Mary Sue and his army of male demon warriors all looked awesome in the extreme, huge horned devils with hooves and wings and tails, with cool looking medieval weapons and armour, like something out of a comic book. But the vast multitudes of females were simply butt naked human women without so much as horns to show that they were demonic.

Usually the women were all bottle blonde white women, but occasionally the hair colour would change with the whim of the author. Very occasionally the Mary Sue would go through a ninja or samurai phase and the unnamed female characters would suddenly become extremely white washed Japanese women. Even more occasionally they were extremely white washed versions of other "cool" ethnic groups, but Unnamed had never ever been black because the author was obviously racist as shit.

Unnamed was also completely unsure about her sexual orientation. At times she and the other ten infinity unnamed women would suddenly engage in a massive lesbian orgy for absolutely no reason. At other times the Mary Sue would somehow have sex with all ten infinity women and it was always "the best sex any of them had ever had". Occasionally the army of cool looking demon soldiers in the Mary Sue's army would bang all the women in celebration of Mary Sue's latest perfect victory. And then on top of all this sex, sometimes all ten infinity of the women were suddenly virgins (for the Mary Sue to deflower of course).

When they were not having sex for no reason or pretending to work whilst looking sexy, the women enjoyed pillow fights, washing each other in a highly sexualised fashion, partying, clothes shopping (naked) with their nonexistent wages, trying on slutty lingerie (which they never wore outside of sex), and generally setting the course of women's rights back to the Stone Age.

Unnamed gave an unnecessarily sexy grunt as she tapped the gold studded wall very softly with her pick, done in such a way as to look as sexy as possible. The pick had absolutely zero effect, with no force behind it, but the author apparently didn't care about this detail and gold magically filled a nearby rusty metal mine cart behind Unnamed.

The cart then somehow went off and emptied itself (no explanation was given), and Unnamed just continued looking sexy in the background as she always did. For a while she just "worked" until she was suddenly compelled to assemble with the other women to celebrate the Mary Sue marching off to war for no reason yet again. Slutty panties suddenly appeared on Unnamed and she was so overcome with the apparently irresistible sex appeal of the Mary Sue that the panties became all damp. Unnamed and the other women in the crowd were then somehow compelled to take off their moist panties and throw them at the Mary Sue, showering him in damp ladies underwear because... Well the author didn't explain why but surely their was a reason why they all did this.

Unnamed and the other "ten infinity" naked women sighed in relief when the insufferable Mary Sue and his author moved out of scene and left them all in peace.

"That was so embarrassing!" Exclaimed Unnamed female character number 180976.

"You're telling me! I'm so sick of that arrogant creepy loser!" Exclaimed Unnamed female character number 5 infinity 342156789098738418.

"Why don't we have names?" Asked number 3 infinity 554327890432789536.

Unnamed number 8 didn't have anything to add to this deep philosophical conversation, it was a waste of time trying to use logic in Dystopia. Unnamed simply shambled off to her actual life that happened whenever she wasn't in scene.

"Do we have homes this time?" Unnamed 8 asked number 12345678900987654321.

"I think we still have the pillow fight room?" 12345678900987654321 replied.

Unnamed sighed, and made her way in a vague direction (the geography was not described in any real detail), knowing that all directions somehow led to where she wanted to go. Despite the fact that Dystopia was apparently currently occupied by a mathematically impossible 10 infinity people, the entire crowd somehow fitted into a single frame of view and appeared to be maybe a few thousand at most. Dystopia currently looked like it occupied a flat ledge jutting out of a cliff face, a cliff face that looked suspiciously like the side of a random brick in the author's parent's house. The author clearly had so little imagination that he had seen a brick and decided that it looked sort of like a cliff and just went with it.

The author had described Dystopia as being infinity to the power of infinity kilometres "big" (hadn't used more complex words to describe length or height), an infinitely large ledge on an infinitely large cliff. Despite this it took all of about 2 minutes for unnamed to walk from one end of it to the other. The author clearly had a great deal of difficulty grasping basic maths, simply saying numbers that sounded cool with no comprehension of what these cool sounding numbers actually meant.

Unnamed looked around the blurred surroundings, all far too poorly described to actually clearly be sure what the layout looked like (with the exception of cool things important to the Mary Sue which were described in so much detail that unnamed wanted to puke!). As far as she could tell, almost everything that had a detailed shape had been ripped off from various fandoms, with very little original content (unless you count the side of the house brick).

Unnamed shrugged and just pushed through the blurry bits until she found herself in the highly detailed pillow fight room. The pillow fight room was an eternal flat plane in all directions, little more than a never ending single mattress with abundant pillows, very well lit for the sexiest view of the action but having no walls or ceiling beyond a distant glowing mist in these directions. Unnamed was not sure how she managed to walk into the middle of an eternal flat plane, nor how she would possibly leave, but the author didn't consider these to be important details.

Unnamed and the other women looked around for the author before cautiously ignoring the pillow fight they were supposed to have and instead just lay down for a much needed rest.

Unnamed loved the fact that she apparently didn't have bodily functions (outside of sex). It was just so convenient never needing the toilet! She also didn't appear to need to eat or drink, and didn't even seem to need to breathe. She also somehow never got dirty, never smelled bad and never needed wash (though of course the author made the women wash each other for no reason in a highly sexual fashion). She also never had bad hair, never needed to reapply her makeup and always looked her best no matter what. It really was much more convenient than such concepts as science and common sense!

Unnamed still apparently needed to sleep (though the author suspended this requirement freely as required), so Unnamed lay down and had a much needed sleep. She of course didn't fart even once as she slept, didn't get bed hair and didn't snore.

Without warning the author returned momentarily to look at Dystopia and all of the women suddenly found themselves having a naked pillow fight interspersed with heavy kissing. The women were compelled to giggle a lot and make other sexy noises as the author presumably masturbated over the scene. Just as suddenly as he appeared, the author seemed to blow his load (prematurely) and suddenly the story completely forgot about the pillow fight without explanation and returned to the Mary Sue.

Unnamed and the others immediately stopped their unnatural behaviour and angrily went back to sleep, feeling violated by the all powerful author.

***...

JUNIOR General Kickass (or General Shitkicker as everyone called him) sighed as he did all the actual work of rulership while the Mary Sue got all the glory (and of course all the credit too). The Mary Sue had had the "inspired genius idea" to "set up a badass demonic accountancy firm to make infinity to the power of infinity to the power of etc etc hell dollars!" The Mary Sue had then been written as telling JUNIOR (the author always made it clear with shouty capitals that the Mary Sue was the REAL General) General Kickass in very vague terms to set up an evil business firm (obviously ripping off some movie the author had seen) followed by a lot of epic diabolical laughter and praises of the Mary Sue's genius.

General Shitkicker sighed deeply as he did all the work off scene to organise and manage a vast corporate crime enterprise as the Mary Sue had sex with ten infinity virgins. This was so exasperating! The chances were that the author would forget all about this corporate crime enterprise by tomorrow and all the hard work would be wasted. Even if it didn't get dropped, the Mary Sue would always get all the credit (just for having the "idea") and General Shitkicker (who did all the actual work) would not even get a mention unless being blamed for any mistakes later on.

Phones rang, people milled around needing direction and it was all an absolute nightmare for General Shitkicker. For an unspecified multitude of hours he worked terribly hard, helped by a vast multitude who also worked very very hard. None of them were trained in this highly specialised task and taking a leaf out of the authors abuse of the mathematics of time, Shitkicker and innumerable others each spent 5 to 10 years studying at university to learn how to even do all this shit, fitting the entire gruelling study period into a mere second of time for the author and Mary Sue. They then spent a further 2 years setting the business up and a further 15 years getting the experience and connections necessary to make a crime organisation as far reaching and successful as the one in the movie they were ripping off.

FINALLY after over 20 years of effort and hard work, General Shitkicker presented the fruits of the hard work to the Mary Sue, a fully functional suitably cool corporate crime syndicate that Shitkicker and innumerable others had sacrificed so much to build.

The Mary Sue gave an unnecessary diabolical laugh and proclaimed "I am a genius! Once again my twisted brilliant mind has created such fiendish things as hell has never seen!" The Mary Sue then proceeded into the organisation building to sit in the boss chair to live out the author's fantasy of being at the apex of a corporate crime enterprise. General Shitkicker and the uncountable multitude of others who had actually done all 100 percent of the actual work (and actual thinking) to create this masterpiece blinked in shock.

General Shitkicker wasn't sure exactly what he expected after over 20 years of effort, but he had expected SOMETHING! Maybe a promotion? Maybe a pay bonus? Maybe a simple speech acknowledging the effort and sacrifice they put into this project? Heck even a simple acknowledgement would have been something, maybe a "good job guys". But no, the Mary Sue was just going to shamelessly take all the credit and all the profits despite not lifting a finger to create this thing!

General Shitkicker and his coworkers shambled disappointedly home and bitterly tossed and turned in bed unable to sleep. The Mary Sue was absolutely unbelievably arrogant!

After a night of very little sleep they all returned to the corporate crime enterprise they had worked so hard to build and found that it had already been torn down and replaced with a cool looking Japanese castle full of ninjas! The author had not even lasted 24 hours before getting bored with the corporate crime enterprise idea and changing the entire fabric of Dystopia, making the decades of work disappear without a trace!

JUNIOR General Kickass walked into the ninja castle and approached the Mary Sue.

"BWAHAHA! Behold my latest evil scheme!" The Mary Sue told Shitkicker in an arrogant tone.

The exasperated lackey waited for the Mary Sue to actually explain WHAT exactly were the details of said evil scheme, hating the Mary Sue with every fibre of his being. The author however was far to lazy to outline the details and rather than explain anything simply wrote:

'JUNIOR General Kickass smiled wickedly in appreciation of the diabolical genius of Mary Sue's demon ninja plan. "You really are a genius greater than hell has ever seen before!" JUNIOR General Kickass said in awe of Mary Sue's intellect.'

"You really are a pathetic stupid lazy asshole aren't you", is more in line with what General Shitkicker would have actually chosen to say to both the Mary Sue and the author if he were able to.

***...


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2(Mary Sue)

Down in a rather unimpressive part of a pop culture hell setting, a character named "LoserLord Kevin Smith the Pathetic" was being forced by the author to eat his own poop, wet himself and cry for his mummy all at the same time.

LoserLord Kevin Smith the Pathetic appeared to be a burly teenage jock, but the author had clearly altered his appearance to make his muscles far smaller than a young man of his build should have, and for added effect the author had deliberately made Kevin's penis the size of a small caterpillar.

The author forced Kevin to say:

"Wha wha, I'm a loser and a gay lord. Nobody thinks I'm cool, none of the hot girls choose me over the Mary Sue and I am far too weak to beat up the Mary Sue and put his head in the toilet! I think I'm a big bully but I am really just a little loser with a tiny little dick that is like microscopic!"

LoserLord Kevin Smith the Pathetic was not sure what he had done in his back story to justify this sort of treatment as a character. In the whole history of his back story and character development, Kevin had never succeeded once at doing anything at all, had never invaded nor harmed anyone and the back story specifically stated that he "was a complete and total gay lord loser and not in any way a cool bully who got all the girls. He was born a PATHETIC loser and would die a PATHETIC loser!" Every story that had Kevin as a character always showed him living peacefully in a filthy and run down castle, engaging in humiliating acts, giving ridiculous self deprecating speeches that seemed to be referring to events outside of the universe of the story and consistently having his peaceful castle invaded by the Mary Sue who would proceed to physically assault the weak and inoffensive Kevin in vicious and humiliating ways, but never killing Kevin.

The story was not forthcoming in explaining the motives nor the dialogue between Kevin and the Mary Sue. Privately however Kevin had made some educated guesses about the extreme level of hatred the author had for him.

Given the nature of the bizarre dialogue that referred to events outside of the universe of the story, LoserLord Kevin Smith the Pathetic was almost certain that the author knew someone in real life called Kevin Smith. This real life Kevin Smith clearly was a cool handsome teenage boy who was highly successful with the ladies and who bullied the real life author quite badly, calling him a loser and putting the author's head in the toilet. Rather than finding a more mature way of dealing with this humiliation (and in the process earning enough of the bully's respect to escape the bullying), the author had instead apparently opted to resolve his frustrations by putting the bully in the story to vent his frustrations on.

Kevin continued eating poo and crying uncontrollably for no adequately explained reason. All around him was graffiti that personally insulted him, but for some reason Kevin never removed this insulting graffiti from his own home.

Kevin got up and for no reason at all he went to a filthy toilet and put his head inside, flushing the toilet as he cried for his mummy. Kevin went on to give a poorly written monologue about his own "loser-ness", describing a range of humiliating medical conditions and personal shortcomings in unnecessarily graphic detail.

Kevin moved away from the toilet and put on a diaper (the author didn't explain why), before then sitting on the floor looking pathetic. A moment later the unrealistically awesome looking Mary Sue kicked a door down and burst into the room flanked by an entire gang of admirers to provide an audience.

"WAHAHA!" the Mary Sue laughed unnecessarily in a suitably awesome diabolical laugh.

"Boo who, I'm a pathetic little loser!" LoserLord Kevin Smith the Pathetic sobbed in response.

"Did you really think that you could get away with thinking that you could write LOSER on my forehead? It was so foolish of you to think that a pathetic gay lord like you could even dare to entertain such a thought!" The Mary Sue shouted hatefully.

LoserLord Kevin Smith the Pathetic had no fucking idea what the Mary Sue was talking about. His character in the story never ever showed anything except complete respect and submission to the Mary Sue and spent all day everyday pondering only his own apparently endless shortcomings.

Despite Kevin's complete lack of understanding, the author forced him to say, "wha wha, yes I was a complete loser to dare to think that. I just pooped in my diaper, I'm the REAL loser!"

The Mary Sue was just beginning to write "LOSER" on Kevin's forehead when the writing style suddenly changed:

'The real life Kevin Smith found the loser writing shit about him on a school computer. Kevin then kicked the losers ass and decided to make a few alterations to the story...'

***...

The inhabitants of Dystopia privately had a great laugh as Kevin the bully added some much needed realism to the story, demoting the Mary Sue to the much more fitting role of town loser and setting up a competent government that actually might work for the benefit of the people of Dystopia. It only lasted a single afternoon before the author changed the password and returned the story to it's former dystopia, but for that single afternoon it was GLORIOUS!

General Shitkicker was carefully wiping away tears of laughter as the Mary Sue frantically tried to search through the entire 300 thousand words of the fanfic to find every single thoroughly deserved alteration the bully had made to the story. The reviewers on the fanfic site were also having a great laugh about the changes and the author was going crazy blocking people who laughed at him.

General Shitkicker knew for a fact that the author would not find every single funny alteration the bully had made, the author never ever read through his old work and was far too lazy to go to the effort required to undo the damage. Predictably the author simply continued the story on a new document, hiding the old document from the reviewers on the fanfic site and carrying on the story as if nothing had happened.


End file.
